"The twinkle of mirth is needed on earth in many a situation in which mankind find themselves. A happy, confident approach to any situation, even what appears to be quite a serious one, is of tremendous assistance to all concerned in bringing about a divinely just and satisfactory resolution thereof.

"To possess a good sense of humor is to be greatly blessed; but if you are not so naturally blessed, you can always call to any of us and we shall be oh, so grateful for that call which will enable us to give you the sense of humor that is so much a part of the consciousness of the ascended host.

"Unaccountability is a word that does not apply to man’s use of God’s life. Everyone is always accountable to the cosmic law for the release of his energy (life) through his thought, feeling, spoken word and deed."

"You must absolutely know that I have put my life on the line for this activity. Why, beloved, I have given so much to this activity and to all of you that I could not even pull out if I wanted to.

"Now, this is a joke, beloved. And I wish you to understand that it is a joke. It is absolutely true! And the joke is on me. For you see, this does not mean that you have the Guru by the tail or that you are indispensable chelas. But it does mean that I have plighted my troth to you, and I am determined to stay until this entire matter is through. And I tell you that one way or another it shall be through! [21-second applause] And since I am not through with you and you are not through with me, then we know who is going to be through."

"A 'twinkle of mirth,' a fount of beauty and culture, all provide rich rewards which help to draw you closer to one another and closer into your personal orbit of divine destiny. We love surroundings of harmony, beauty and graciousness as do the blessed angels, so long as it is not accompanied by the conceit of the outer ego. Opulence is good, but let it be a divine opulence—equally flooding your world with balanced graciousness. Make your 'home sweet homes' on earth focuses of Love’s eternal home above. You can you know!

"The body temple is likewise the 'home of your soul'—which though sometimes 'bone weary' from many cramping embodiments still reaches out like a lost child to its own God Presence with indescribable longings and travail, until it is at last set free in God-victory over all circumstance. The mind, too, should be a garnished abode swept free of old and dusty furnishings or of despondent thoughts and abounding instead with the architecture of constructivism—the fiat of the new age!

"Now the home of your memory (your etheric body) should likewise be completely renovated, becoming far more noble than them all, embracing and holding the whole together in divine love —for therein is stored 'whatsoever you presently think, have ever thought, whatsoever you now do or have ever done; now experience or have ever experienced.' Only through the transmuting violet fire of freedom’s love can you make it a home of love wherein God abides. Qualify your homes, then, only with love and you cannot fail—all will then be 'home sweet homes of light.'

"Dear hearts and gentle people, forget not to brighten the corner of earth or heaven where you are! Know that I love the old tune that says of 'Old Ireland' (Our land)—'A little bit of heaven fell to earth one day' and I wish a great deal of the charm of my home in Darjeeling to fall from the hands of your very own God Presence right into your world now, making you happy, peaceful and diligent. Nothing can long deter you—may you therefore faithfully attain your own Christ victory as we have. Being free from earthly impediments and obscurities you will then in even a grander manner assist us in that marvelous service of 'bringing home the sheaves'—which God has planted in such hope—with songs of eternal rejoicing!

"May all the fire and inspiration of your own God Presence unite with all my love and the love of the entire Brotherhood at Darjeeling—whose credo is 'I will'—to show to you the God-revealed inner knowledge of fohat (the sacred fire) which will make and keep you ever humble, ever grateful and constantly in tune with us, drawing forth then from God’s own heart not only passports to heaven’s home sweet home, but brightening each of your present days with the blessing of the sacred will of God which wants only to give to all its own magnificent perfection now made manifest!"

"Thus I say, neglect not the hours. Fill them with joy! Joy is the very first principle of the ascension. Take two individuals—one who fulfills his assignments without joy and one who fulfills them with joy. The one without joy, beloved, may lose his ascension for want of joy, and the (one with joy) may make it even though some elements are lacking.

"Joy is the key to healing! Joy is movement! Joy is life! Joy is self-attention to the needs of the four lower bodies but not over-self-concern. Joy is the sense of committing oneself to God and letting God flush out the nonjoy by that descending cascade of the mighty river of Life.

"Understanding the divine sense of humor will make you able to deal with the most difficult karmic circumstances, the most deadly intent of the fallen ones. As the LORD holds them in derision, may you also hold them in derision. And may your joy be such a consciousness of the Sacred Heart of Jesus that you can meet friend or foe with the same light and lilt, for you have the co-measurement of the joy of angels and the merriment of God himself in the face of such a seriousness [as that] of the unreality [of the fallen ones themselves].

"Blessed hearts, joy flames go out when you are not in sync with your cycles on the staircase of life. There [comes upon you] a frantic sense of urgency within. You may connect it to outer responsibilities, burdens and debts, or to not having enough time to do everything you want to do."

"Keepers of the Flame and students one and all, we are here! And we are as the laughing Buddhas, for we come with the glorious, buoyant flame of cosmic freedom.

"Oh, receive us, beloved hearts!

"Join us, then, oh, join us, beloved ones, in the laughter of the Laughing Buddha, for I will tell you a secret if you will now be seated. Yes, be seated in the lap of the Buddha who has placed his Electronic Presence on your chair as you have risen!

"This Laughing Buddha comes to tell you a story, beloved, and it is this. As you have regarded [the records of your life] and even seen [in your mind’s eye] films of past moments of pain and hurt and abandonment, yes, of being bruised and beaten at some level, so, beloved, you are in a position where you have a trick or two that you can play on that force of doom and gloom.

"For, you see, you can look at that place and that record and you can say, 'I AM complete and whole. I have no need to hang on to that record!'

"So just when the fallen ones think they have locked you up as their prisoner and encased you in a record in which you shall suffer eternally, you simply step out of that mold in which they have cast you—you literally withdraw yourself from that place. And they are left empty-handed, not knowing where you have gone, for you have risen to levels of Light they cannot penetrate.

"And then you laugh as you glance backward, seeing that there is the vacant place, the place you once occupied believing that someone or something could ultimately harm you with some degree of permanence.

"Now you simply walk out of the mold. You no longer need it as a part of identity, as a part of the combination of your psychology. Yes, beloved, you walk away free in the laughter of the Laughing Buddha; and you surely have that last laugh, for you are liberated once and for all from that particular scene.

"And now you will go about leaping and praising God and in the laughter that rings, the laughter of the Lord God himself as he holds the fallen ones in derision and you also do imitate his laughter.

"Therefore, beloved, let the laughter ring forth, for you have understood, you have the key! Yes, now you can walk right out of that old mold by the power of the Buddha of the Ruby Ray and by the flame of Omri-Tas!

"Oh yes, beloved, do not take so very long to let go, for this indeed is the key: it is the cosmic laughter. Hear them all, the Buddhas and the Bodhisattvas, for this laughter is your soul’s liberation. Oh, rejoice, precious ones of God, for we are rejoicing with you!"

"How joyously men can chuckle even when dark shadows cross their paths with the opacity of their crusty nonsense. Men must learn to shatter bondage, to regard it as an enemy, to see the clutching of the little self as a frightening thing, for in one moment it could cause them to drown in the sea of earthly perdition."

"Listen," I interrupted, "what nationality are you?"
"I'm English," she replied. "That is, I was born in Poland, but my father is Irish."
"That makes you English?"
"Yes," she said . . .

Every society needs humor. There have been very few influential humorists, as distinguished from
comedians, in American history. Mark Twain and Will Rogers are the major ones, so is Dave Barry. We get a good one about once per half century.

All three of them got laughs by making fun of Congress. Examples:

Fleas can be taught nearly anything that a Congressman can.—Mark Twain

Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.—Mark Twain

The taxpayers are sending congressmen on expensive trips abroad. It might be worth it except they keep coming back!—Will Rogers

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold
of a hammer.—Will Rogers

With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law, and every time they make a law it's a joke.—Will Rogers

The only way to get elected to Congress is to raise a bunch of campaign money, and pretty much the only way to do that is to already be a member of Congress.—Dave Barry

Congress, after years of stalling, finally got around to clearing the way for informal discussions that might lead to possible formal talks that could potentially produce some kind of tentative agreements.—Dave Barry

Congress shall also create a tax code weighing more than the combined poundage of the largest
member of the House and the largest member of the Senate, plus a standard musk ox.

The question is: What can we, as citizens, do to reform our tax system? As you know, under our
three-branch system of government, the tax laws are created by Satan. But he works through the
Congress, so that's where we must focus our efforts.

Here's my proposal, which is based on the TV show "Survivor": We put the entire Congress on an island. All the food on this island is locked inside a vault, which can be opened only by an ordinary American taxpayer named Bob. Every day, the congresspersons are given a section of the Tax Code, which they must rewrite so that Bob can understand it. If he can, he lets them eat that day; if he can't, he doesn't.

Or, he can give them food either way. It doesn't matter. The main thing is, we never let them off the island.—Dave Barry

This is great stuff. Fifty solemn editorials by pundits run in 300 newspapers each will not have the
impact of a line like this:

The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets.—Will Rogers

Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream and Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?"

And Man said, "Yes!" and Woman said, "and as long as you're at it, add some sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.

And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 6 to size 14.

So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables, and olive oil in which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.

God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel Food Cake," and said, "It is good." Satan then created chocolate cake and named it "Devil's Food."

God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained pounds.

God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and its 99-cent double cheeseburger. Then said, "You want fries with that?" And Man replied, "Yes! And super size them!" And Satan said, "It is good." And
Man went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

Then Satan created HMOs.